10 Things I do not like about being a Mum!

I love my son but...

1. I wish I could leave the house with just my handbag. I really do. I wish didn't need to pack like Victoria Beckham on her way to Europe simply to go to the supermarket!

2. I wish I could leave the house safe in the knowledge my clothes were clean! I was at David Jones the other day and wondering why the ladies were giving me strange looks. It was because I had two hand prints made of Weet Bix on my arse!

3. I wish I could sleep. Yes, sleep the whole night without waking up three times a night.

4. A corollary 1 to the above, I wish I wake up without finding my son's foot in my mouth or his fingers up my nose.

5. Corollary 2 to the above. I know my son that you have a wonderful sharing spirit. I do not want to dampen this beautiful character trait of yours. But mummy really does not need a dummy to sleep. Really. It just wakes mummy up.

6. I wish I could go to the toilet. Alone.

7. I wish I didn't know that bananas gave my son grainey poos. Really, I could have lived my entire life without that knowledge.

8. I never really liked the TV Show "Seconds from Disaster." Oh why, oh why do I feel like I am living in an episode of that apocalyptic show every time I venture into public with my son?

9. Sleep is not an optional activity.

10. Mummy is really not a spoilsport. She used to be the life of the party. I am sure there is plenty of photographic evidence to this ala Lara Bingle style of me dancing on stools in bars etc. Mummy is not trying to ruin all your fun by stopping you sticking forks into the sockets. Honest Injun. It's for your own good.